Q: Can you help me with some of the problems I have? I am so upset and depressed by them I don’t think I am even getting to level anymore.

My husband died after being ill for a year. We sold our home to pay for his treatments, and now I live alone in a little mobile home. None of my children want to help me, except for my son who lives with me, but he was hurt on the job and cannot work. My daughter who loaned me some money now wants to take my car since I cannot afford to pay her back.

My son had his car repossessed, and we were told that would ruin our credit for seven years.

I work as a cashier in a department store, and am on my feet all day. I am too old for such hard work and this is very hard on me, but my employer doesn’t seem to want to give me any other job.  I’ve tried to program, but I doubt if I am doing it correctly. I’m just too upset.

A: We have all had similar kinds of experiences, so the suggestions we’re offering are not just theory, but actual techniques we’ve used ourselves.

Undoubtedly you are correct in assuming that you are not getting to your level because of your concern over all the problems you are facing. This calls for drastic measures.

You need to practice concentrating and relaxing. Concentrate on relaxing your body. As other thoughts intrude, simply go back to concentrating on relaxing your body from head to toes.

This will be difficult to do at first. In fact, the first three days will be the most difficult. But you can do it if you will be patient and persistent.

Relaxation is the real key to helping yourself and your loved ones. There are many benefits to this relaxation:  First, it will help your health, and this is very important of course. In addition, the more you are able to relax, the better you will come across to other people.

There are many people who could help you, but when you are tense and you are projecting all of your troubles and your needs, they will tend to avoid you.

When you are relaxed, you project an air of confidence that is contagious. When you are relaxed and confident, your employer will be more likely to consider you for a raise or a better job.

When you are relaxed and confident, your banker is more likely to be willing to help you and advise you on the best way to handle some of your financial problems. (By the way, to the best of our knowledge, a repossession does not ruin a person’s credit for seven years. There are many factors involved. I wouldn’t worry about that.)

Relaxation is the real key to helping yourself and your loved ones

As you continue to practice relaxing, you will enter deeper and deeper levels of mind. You will feel better. You will have a more positive outlook. You will have a new perspective on your problems and will deal with them more effectively. You will come up with creative ideas for dealing with problems. Others will notice this and will be willing to help you.

You need all of this, and all of this can be attained by relaxing: deep physical and mental relaxation. Practice this daily – every day, no matter what else you have to do. Just concentrate and relax.

As a result, you will begin to radiate a serene appearance which other people will notice and respond to.  We know of no other solution that can be nearly as effective, and this is a solution that will work.

The more you worry about the problems, the more difficult your situation seems to be. Even though it does not get any worse, the more time you spend worrying, the worse it seems to be.

The reason you feel so depressed is that you have filled your brain to capacity with worry. There is no room left. You need to ventilate some of this. Practice relaxing, concentrating on this relaxation, concentrating on each part of your body from head to feet as you relax each body part. Exaggerate with your imagination as you do this. Exaggerate, and imagine being like a rag doll, completely passive and relaxed.

As we said, the first three days will be the most difficult, and it might seem almost hopeless at times. But persevere, be persistent and keep practicing, and you will begin to notice some results.

When you reach this deep state of relaxation, such as you have done in the past, it will be pleasant and comfortable and you will enjoy being in that state, away from your problems for a little while.

After you have regained your ability to enter a deep state of relaxation, then you can start programming for solutions to problems.

Keep in mind that some of them might not be your problems. Some might be problems that other people must solve.

Work on one problem at a time, and set goals that you believe you can attain. Avoid setting yourself up for disappointment by programming for too much too soon. Take it in steps. Do not set your goals too low either. Strike a nice balance.

Better and Better,

Laura Silva Quesada
and the Team